...the spaces in between......

I am looking at my channel menu and I see The History Channel is playing Jonestown Paradise Lost.
The last sitting Congressperson to be assassinated was Leo Ryan.
I was just beginning to pay attention to the world around me at that time. I was raised by a mother for whom religion and Christianity were of paramount importance. As a kid, I went to church happily. One of the best memories is playing Bible Dash. We played a similar game in school, Dictionary Dash, and I kicked ass in both games. Sometime in my early teens I realized that I had questions about what I was learning. I asked some questions and was encouraged to stop asking questions. (1st clue). After that, I had to choose carefully what questions to ask and whom to ask. The one problem I identified in those years was that the bible was written by man.(2nd clue). And men. And then King James came along and put his medieval male spin on it. And apparently, it's because I question this, I have no faith. So, while I am being made to feel that I have come up short for not believing enough in something that has no evidence (good times), I see that a religious fanatic has conned thousands of people to move to to Guyana and kill themselves. 
I think this is when I realized that I needed more than my family members did and do. Can you imagine having so much faith in a god like that? I simply can't. I am not saying I don't believe there isn't something or someone out there in the ether or dimensions other than these...I think it's something. I do know I don't like the organized religious version of this idea. I really don't. All organized religion is, in my view, a con. For money, power and greed. I find that very hard to grasp when I know my family has been conned. And yet, they feel the need to pray for me. If they ever read this I know it will hurt them to read this and I know their beliefs give them such great comfort. They are comforted by christianity and the bible. I am creeped out by christianity and the bible.
I don't know what or who created us and the universe, we can only know when we die. I know this because I have been to heaven. As far as I know, I didn't die to get there. April 10th 2005 I had a dream. I was in a Thomas Kinkade painting.....this is it....

 
I woke up near that bridge and stepped up to the door. As I walked up the door opened....there was this wondrous light. It was very warm and it was sheer, unadulterated love. It was the most wonderful wave of light and love. Holding the door open was this being or spirit or angel, whatever you want to call it. It was feminine. To this day I feel the love emanating from her. I knew her. I cannot tell you who she is or was in my soul's time span, but I know I knew her soul. It was and continues to be perplexing, yet I know that soul. That was when I realized I do have faith. Just not the same one as my family.

She didn't say anything....she just held the door open and I felt myself drift into the cottage. The cottage consisted of a hallway where the light was....it was a hallway of light and love. It was a pure white light. It felt like looking at a bright light of cream that didn't make me squint my eyes. And the waves....it was incredible. I turned to look at the soul and I knew that I had a choice. I could walk down the hallway and go or I could turn around and leave the cottage and wake up. I have to tell you I hesitated. I don't know for how long, but I remember sensing the hesitation. It really was more tempting than I can tell you. I took a long look at the light and a long look at the soul next to me and thought "I have to go back". And I woke up.

I can imagine you out there wondering what drugs I was doing or what I had for dinner.....no and I have never eaten anything that gave me hallucinations or 'dreams'. I can tell you I watched teevee, got in bed and simply went to sleep. I woke up knowing exactly what had happened and to this day I remember only 2 dreams ever. One is a nightmare that is the same but I can't tell you what happens in it. I just know I only have ever had one nightmare, repeated over my lifetime of sleeping. (haven't had it in a long time, I hope I didn't jinx myself) And one dream I remember. I just told you that dream.
Except it wasn't a dream. I know where I went and remember every detail of what happened. I can't tell you anymore than I have because there are no words...literally, there are no words to describe the light. There are no words to describe to you the immense feeling of love from the soul who opened the door. There are simply no words in our language to describe how it was.
So you see, I do have faith, just not in what the majority of the world has faith in.

I don't know the answer to why we are here. I think we have souls that learn lessons in our time here...and who knows, maybe other planets. That's just it...we don't know. I think our souls are grouped with a family, for lack of a better term, and we all help each other in our lives as we learn the lessons we need to. The goal is to better your soul. And if you do that by believing in an organized religion of some sort...great. I don't. I think my spirituality is between me and....for lack of a better term, my god. or goddess. whatever.

I am very glad to have been born in the United States of America where I am free to believe or disbelieve. As long as I don't hurt anyone or disrespect them, I can do that. There are people in the world that can't. There are people in the world with questions like mine who can't ask because it could mean their death.
And we're back to Jonestown. To put such blind faith in a human being is mind boggling to me. I guess you have to have some sort of blind faith in someone to be married to them.....and since I am not, I don't know. I guess I just have no faith in mankind. Faith in a higher power, for lack of a better term, that I have.

a cautionary tale....

You must read this.  Driftglass compares a recent David Brooks column regarding the violent rhetoric in our political debate and an older David Brooks column (in which he contradicts himself) about Islamic extremists. This reaffirms my belief that religion, organized religion, is something to avoid. Driftglass shows the hypocrisy of the republican party and the right wing media and for a little flavor, also reminds us that this is all about ideology of religion. not even good or evil, just 'my religion has a bigger penis and therefore you suck and must die in the most horrific fashion', which the christian fundamentalists in the United States have given us....slowly, like Chinese water torture. and actual torture. so what does all the vitriol in our current culture have in common?


Let's begin with reading what Mr. Brooks has to say about the recent horrible events in Tuscon and the violent rhetoric employed by the right...

These accusations — that political actors contributed to the murder of 6 people, including a 9-year-old girl — are extremely grave. They were made despite the fact that there was, and is, no evidence that Loughner was part of these movements or a consumer of their literature. They were made despite the fact that the link between political rhetoric and actual violence is extremely murky. They were vicious charges made by people who claimed to be criticizing viciousness.

Yet such is the state of things. We have a news media that is psychologically ill informed but politically inflamed, so it naturally leans toward political explanations. We have a news media with a strong distaste for Sarah Palin and the Tea Party movement, and this seemed like a golden opportunity to tarnish them. We have a segmented news media, so there is nobody in most newsrooms to stand apart from the prevailing assumptions. We have a news media market in which the rewards go to anybody who can stroke the audience’s pleasure buttons.

I have no love for Sarah Palin, and I like to think I’m committed to civil discourse. But the political opportunism occasioned by this tragedy has ranged from the completely irrelevant to the shamelessly irresponsible.

The good news is that there were a few skeptics, even during the height of the mania: Howard Kurtz of The Daily Beast, James Fallows of The Atlantic and Jonathan Chait of The New Republic. The other good news is that the mainstream media usually recovers from its hysterias and tries belatedly to get the story right.

So, get that? Now read what he says when it's Islamic fundamentalists.....

The Arab world, though famous for its bazaars, has not defined national glory economically, Greenfeld adds. Instead, the rising radical groups today define greatness negatively through acts of anti-Western defiance.

Superseding market entrepreneurs, there are terror entrepreneurs competing to see who can issue the most militant call and perform the most galvanizing act of violence. They are driven by resentment toward the West, but also by the internal competition for prestige and standing.

Worse, more and more people are falling for the Grand Delusion — the notion that if we just leave the extremists alone, they will leave us alone.

That's your corporate media doing what it does best...telling you that there is a liberal bias when, if you can reason and think, can clearly see that instead of the media hating palin and the teabaggers they are enamored by her/them...and yep, you guessed it, because she's "politically inflamed". Because our corporate media and the right wing media are only interested in giving us 'the news' because it brings in the advertisers. Money. Greed. Power. That is your corporate media. And if they can do that by donning the fake skin of christianity so they can get away with it...even sweeter.  

global warming is a hoax.....

all those deniers out there think because we don't love Jesus enough, we claim climate change. it is a hoax and if we would just love Jesus, we would see that.
well, in my part of the world it doesn't snow very often. I have lived here, for the most part, for 30 years. I can count the amount of snow we have had on two hands...until the last year or so. My friend JK has sent me another gem that I have to share.

I laughed and laughed when I saw this...I'm still chuckling a little....

...our better angels....

One of the things you need to know about me is that I do not do organized religion. Most everything negative and evil that has ever happened, or will happen, has its roots in a religion of some sort. The hypocrisy pisses me off. But then something like this (h/t JK) comes along to restore my faith in my fellow humans. Not many of us anymore look for our better angels, myself included.

Mariam Yassin, a 24 year old video editor, will take Thursday off to travel to Alexandria to attend the mass at the Two Saints Church. “I am not going as a representative of any religion. I am supporting all those who died as a result of ignorance.”

and another bit....

On the other hand, Fatima Mostafa, a 40 year old house wife, will join Copts tomorrow to show that Muslims feel their sorrow. “I want to show the world that Islam is a religion of peace and that such attacks are nothing more than a result of poverty, ignorance and oppression.”